Cake Hunt
by vivi-vixen
Summary: Summary: Altair will do anything for cake but how far will he go to get his hands on chocolaty goodness. Mild Altair/Malik. OOC Cake crazed Altair. One shot. Rated M to be safe.


Summary: Altair will do anything for cake but how far will he go to get his hands on chocolaty goodness. Mild Altair/Malik. OOC Cake crazed Altair. One shot. Rated M to be safe.

Disclaimer: I don't own Assassins creed only a copy of the game.

Cake Hunt

Altair was walking through the masyaf fortress. It had been two months since the death of his master and only now had things started to revert to anywhere near normalcy. Well as normal as could be expected when you lived in a fortress full of lethal killing machines. The sun was shining bright red as it was about to set and Altair was 'cheerful' well he wasn't killing anyone or moping around in a mood so the other assassins assumed he was cheerful.

Altair stopped walking and lifted his head. He sniffed the air and grinned. CAKE. Chocolate cake. Altair started to drool. Malik was baking and whenever Malik started to bake Altairs brain shut down and everyone was in trouble because Altair would do anything to get his hands on Malik's cooking.

Now not many people know this but Altair is a closet chocoholic. Well a closet sweet tooth actually and whenever he got a whiff of anything sweet his common sense left him and he would do anything he could to get his hands on the sweet stuff.

"CAKE! Must have cake!"

Altair looked around and noticed hand holds going up the wall by the side of him. He grinned; the cake would soon be his and Malik didn't suspect a thing. He ran up the wall and grabbed some of the bricks that were handily sticking out of the wall. He ignored the shouts coming from below him, his mind only focused on one thing.

"CAKE!"

Altair finally managed to get to the top of the wall and jumped over the parapet. The patrolling assassins jumped back as, without a word, Altair crouched and lifted his head up towards the quickly reddening sky. He sniffed the air and his eyes grew wide and wild.

"CAKE!"

The two assassins looked on, bewildered, as Altair ran towards the turret, his increasingly insane screams of cake echoing all around the fortress.

---

Malik searched around inside the kitchen cupboard for his icing. He'd just set the cake down on the window sill to cool and now he was looking for the plain icing to put on the finishing touches. It was Altairs birthday the next day and Malik had decided to cook him his favourite chocolate cake as a surprise. Altair was meant to be out in the village all day so at least he knew his cake was going to be safe. Malik smiled in triumph as he set eyes on the white icing. As he reached for it his blood ran cold, his ears picked up a faint scream and he knew exactly what it was;

"CAKE!"

Malik sighed.

_Altair, so much for being in the village all day._

He looked out of the window and his eyebrow arched in surprise as he caught sight of the setting sun. He'd been at it all day and not realised how long he'd been cooking. Malik shook his head, determination on his face.

_Oh no Altair, you're not getting this cake._

Malik grabbed the cake and twisted around, looking for a hiding place that, hopefully, Altair wouldn't look in. His eyes lit up when he saw the pantry.

_Perfect_

Malik shoved a bowl over the cave and hid it behind some supplies. He spun back round as a crash sounded behind him. He chuckled at the sight of Altair lying on the floor. He'd tripped climbing through the window. Altairs brain obviously didn't work properly when he was in this state. Altair glared at Malik with the cake-lust still in his eyes.

"CAKE!!"

Malik shook his head with a mocking smile on his face. He held up his chocolate covered hand in a gesture of surrender and watched as Altair searched the room.

"No cake here Altair, you're mistaken."

Altair glared threateningly at Malik. How dare this man deny him his cake! This smarmy older man! This…chocolate covered man!

_Oh…my…._

Malik's eyes widened as Altair started looking him up and down with a dangerous look in his eyes. All of a sudden he pounced and Malik screamed as Altair landed on top of him. He was looking at him as if he was a piece of double chocolate fudge cake.

"Altair, get…off of me"

Altair grinned down at him. He took Malik's hand in his own and raised it to his lips and took one long lick.

"ALTAIR WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"

Altair looked up from his position by Malik's hand and took another small lick of one of his fingers. The cake-lust had died down in his eyes but there was still some dangerous quality around them that Malik didn't trust.

"What does it look like I'm doing? If I can't have my cake I'm still having something chocolate covered."

The dangerous look doubled as the grin he gave could have rivalled the devils.

"You're just unlucky since it's going to be you."

Malik gasped, grinned and then pulled Altair down for a long kiss.

"Who says anything about it being unlucky? I've been waiting for you to do this for a month now."

Altair looked puzzled as Malik pulled Altair under him. He sat on his chest and reached up onto the counter for the forgotten bowl of left over chocolate, he set it on the floor and looked down at Altair.

"And I'm not the one who's going to be covered in chocolate."

Altair gasped in shock as his shirt was ripped open and a trail of chocolate was poured down his chest. Then Malik leant down grinned and licked it off. Altair tossed his head back in pleasure and closed his eyes. He was going to enjoy this.

---

A few hours' later two assassins were making the rounds around the fortress when they heard a crash coming from the kitchen. They looked at each other in bewilderment and one of them reached over to the door and spun the handle. The door swung open and the assassins jaw dropped as he looked inside. There was chocolate everywhere and two very naked high ranking assassins lying on the floor. Altair looked up at them from his position sitting on Malik's lap and fixed them with a death glare.

"If you don't get out in ten seconds or less I'm going to cause you so much pain you'll be begging for death."

The assassins face paled as Altair looked like he was about to stand up to carry out his threat. He backed out of the door and shut it behind him. The other assassin turned to him and gulped.

"I think we should forget we just saw that."

The other assassin was staring straight ahead in shock.

"Believe me I wish I could, that's going to be part of my nightmares for months."

They walked away, trying to block out the screams of Malik's and Altair's names that were ringing throughout the hallway.

---

Altairs groaned as he woke up. The sunlight was shining through the window and was showing Altair exactly how much mess they'd made last night. Overturned bowls and smears of chocolate were all around the room and Altair couldn't help but suppress a grin. That had been one good night. He stood up and looked down at his one armed lover.

_Maybe I'll make him some breakfast._

He pulled on some underwear, trying to ignore the chocolate stains that were on even that and walked into the pantry. He moved some supplies and found an upside down bowl. He lifted it and grinned.

_So that's where Malik hid it._

He pulled it out and walked back into the kitchen. He stepped over the still sleeping Malik and set it on the table. It was plain, without any icing and Altair couldn't stop his grin getting bigger. He knew he'd interrupted Malik in the middle of it, last time his cake had been so decorated Altair was sure it had taken a week for him to make it. He heard a yawn from behind him and looked down at the floor at his now waking up boyfriend. He leant down and kissed his boyfriend.

"Morning Malik."

Malik groaned, leant over and tried to pull Altair back down.

"I want to sleep, leave me alone Altair. You wore me out last night."

Altair chuckled.

"I'm tired too but we need to get up, if we don't the cooks will have our heads, and other things I really don't want to lose."

Malik groaned and playfully hit out at Altair. Altair laughed and took a step back, hitting the counter.

"I'm making breakfast, want anything specific."

"Yeah, MORE SLEEP"

Altair sighed, shook his head and went back into the pantry. When he came back, with bread, cheese and some oranges, he saw Malik pulling on his clothes and looking warily at the cake.

"I'm sorry it hasn't got more decorations on it."

Altair scooted up behind him and began kissing his neck.

"Its fine Malik, don't worry."

Malik sighed, shook his head and turned round to kiss his lover.

"Happy birthday Altair."

**Please R and R, no flames thank you.**


End file.
